


How Do You Love Someone?

by Leave_me_in_Neverland



Category: Voltron!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, And Keith's gay, Depressed Keith, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Her name is Red obviously, Keith can dance, Keith has anxiety, Keith's lion is now a house cat, Lance helps him through like a good "friend", Lance is training to be a police officer, M/M, My First Fanfic, Self harming Keith, So many things you'll figure it out as you go, and panic attacks, lance is bi, my poor boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leave_me_in_Neverland/pseuds/Leave_me_in_Neverland
Summary: Keith hadn't grown up in a great family. His mother showed him love yes, but rarely. Though he still loved her. Much more than his dad. He never let Keith do what he truely wanted. But when Keith grew up he decided he need to do what he wanted. So he's becoming a music teacher.What happens when he meets a certain flirt and falls in love? What will he do? How will he show his love for someone, when he was never taught how to love?This is somewhat based of the song, How Do You Love Someone by Ashley Tisdale.Enjoy! I'll try to post daily if not every other day.





	1. Chapter 1

Keith's P.O.V. (So you aren't confused)  
I am standing infront of my new school, well more like college. The Garrison. To say I am scared was an understatement. I am terrified. Down to my core. I'd never let myself admit it to anyone, but I am. I hated new people, a new environment, hell new anything. I'm used to everything being the same.  
When students started to flood in, some giving me weird looks because I was just starting at the school, I decided it was about time to get moving. I could feel my cheeks heat up a bit in embarrassment. I shook it off and got inside.  
It was huge. I mean it made sense. They taught basically everything. From the Music and art fields to police work, outerspace junk, and even cooking. I wasn't good at naming jobs and such. All I cared about was becoming a music teacher.  
All men that I have met laughed hearing that but it was true. I loved music. It was the only thing that truly calmed me. I felt relaxed when I listened to it. So I usually don't tell people what I really want to be. I just muttered carpenter or police man or anything that was a "man's job".  
I walked up to the map the was proudly shown in the middle of the hallway.

What the actually fuck? How am I supposed to read this shit?  
The map had so many extra lines it wasn't funny. All I want to know is where the music field is. Not all this extra shit. What the hell does half of the lines even stand for? I don't see a key!  
I kept staring at it like it would magically reveal all the answers to me. Like it would suddenly slap me in the face with what I needed. That never happened.  
Instead someone tapped me on the shoulder causing me to turn around. There stood two people holding hands.  
One was a girl. She has long silver hair some pulled back behind her head. She has blue eyes that look kinda... Purple? Maybe pink. He couldn't tell at the moment. Their were marks under her eyes and he wondered if they were birth marks or make-up. She wore a white crop top with a skull on it. A black undershirt with light blue skinny jeans and black shoes. She had a necklace that said baby girl, a crown and snake ring on her right hand and so many rings on her left I didn't bother to look. But they seemed to come together in a pack because they looked similar.  
The person holding her hand had gray eyes, and black hair with some white floofy bangs out in front. He had a scar that ran along his nose that made me wonder how he got it. He wore a simple white shirt with black jeans and white shoes. He had a black cross around his neck. And both had backbag on their backs.  
"You must be new if you are looking at that thing. Unfortunately it's basically useless." The male spoke.  
"Yeah! Principle Iverson put it up to 'make the kids smarter'! But he can't read it himself. I really wish he'd make it easier!" The girl spoke. Both seemed kind.  
"So where are you heading? We could point you in the correct direction." The male spoke.  
"Um... The music field..." I muttered. My voice was gruff and quiet like always. I was only loud when I talked to children or people I new.  
I didn't really feel comfortable saying that infront of the man. I was afraid he'd laugh at him like every other male he had ever met.  
But he never did. He just smile, grinned even. "That's on the third floor east wing! If I remember correctly..." He replied. "I'm Takashi Shirogane, but you can just call me Shiro. Everyone does." he added.  
This girl brightened up before saying "I'm Allura! What's your name?"  
I simply muttered Keith Kogane.  
"Keith..." Shiro teated the name on his tounge. "That's a nice name! It suits you. Maybe we could hang out sometime Keith!" Allura smiled.  
I nodded not knowing what to say. People never really invited me to do much. I've always been the odd one out. Especially in my family. I was the only male who wanted to be a music teacher. It was more of a female's job that male's, so my family teased and picked on me for it.  
"We're hanging out after school if you'd like to join than! We're going to a cafe near here! Maybe five minutes away!" Allura said again. She really wanted to know me didn't she? I don't know why, I'm really nothing special.  
Shiro nodded "we'll be outside at 4:30"  
I nodded agreeing. I could use some friends. Besides they seemed nice enough.  
Allura grinned. "Great! We'll see you than!"  
With that they walked of smiling. I just shrugged it off and started up the stairs. Yes there was an elevator, but I never liked them. I never seemed to get enough space, even when I was by myself in them. That could just be my anxiety though...  
When I was upstairs I made my way to my class and sat in the back, waiting for class to begin.

<°~°>

When all my classes were over with it was 3:30. I had enough time to explore the school.  
As I was walking around I accidentally bumped into someone. The force made me fall to the floor and look up. The guy standing above me was cute... Scratch that **HOT**!  
He has brown hair, and dark colored skin. He has the bluest of eyes that seemed a beautiful and mysterious as the deepest part of the ocean. One of my favorite things. He had silver earings in his ears. Both on the first hole though. (If that makes sense. Basically his ear lobes and nothing higher.) He wore a blue and white shirt with a green jacket over it that looks worn-out. Blue jeans and blue shoes. He was definition of hot all together, and I swore I felt my cheeks heat up a bit.


	2. Chapter 2

"Woah... You have a MULLET! Those things are like ANCIENT! Seriously why a mullet? There are so many otherhair styles!"  
Did I say hot? Because I ment total dickhead! Seriously who is he to diss my hair style? So what if it's a bit of an old style. I actually quite like it...  
I got up on my own, glaring at him the whole time. I will admit it is kinda hard to be intimidating when the person was taller than you. But that didn't stop me from glaring up at him.  
"I don't see a problem with it." I speak out to him. Though it was below a whisper, like usual.  
"Seriously?! Have you looked in the mirror?!"  
I am about to punch him, honestly. But I can't. I mean this is my first day of college. It would look bad, considering I already have a history for fighting in the past. Honestly I am surprised I got in, so I'm not fucking it up because of some random douche bag who is making fun of my hairstyle.   
I decide to be the bigger person and go around him. I don't have time for him, especially if he's just going to make fun of me and my choices. Even if it's a childish as a hair cut that's angering me.  
"You're not even going to apologize for bumping into me? Talk about Ruuude!" he dragged out.   
Are you serious? Is he joking or just an asshole? Honestly, I'd like to know.  
I turned on my heel to give him another glare. "You bumped into me too! Or otherwise you would have moved out of the way!"I yell. Though honestly it was probably just above a whisper.  
"Mhm and who was the person that fell to the floor? You."  
"Are you joking, or just an idiot? You have just proved that YOU bumped into ME! You did so with enough force to knock me down!"  
"Dude if it takes that much force to knock you down you might want to see a doctor......... Or go to the gym." He smirked. He fucking smirked.  
I am so going to punch him in the face. He's cocky as fuck. I ball my hands into fists getting ready when I hear someone yell "LANCE!!"  
The boy looks around me down the hallway. I turn to look as well, curiosity getting to me.  
I say two figures running down the hallway. Both looked to be struggling.   
The first was a male. He had this soft yellow t-shirt that seemed to have a donut on it. He had black sweat pants on with slide on sandles. He also had a headband wrapped around his head. Honestly he looked like he got up like that. Which I respected, I usually didn't care enough to look nice either.  
The other - I couldn't quite put a gender. Something about them reminded me of a girl, but with how they dressed looked male. So I decide to use them instead. An in between. They had a plain green and white shirt on. Along with some gray shorts and white shoes. They also carried so much junk on their back, I briefly wondered how they hadn't broke under the weight. Considering they were short up close.  
"Hunk, Pidge!"The boy from before yells back to them grinning. I think I can assume him as 'Lance'.  
The smaller one of the three looks over to me.   
"Who's that?"  
Lance glances at me before shrugging. "He doesn't really matter Pidge."  
So they are Pidge, he's Lance, so the other one must be Hunk. Got it. Why am I remembering this again?  
Hunk looks at him looking... Upset? "That's rude Lance!"  
Pidge nods, agreeing with Hunk. "I'm Pidge." They say holding out their hand. "And the douche bag is Lance. You can ignore his attitude and dickiness. It never goes away unfortunately."  
I smiled lightly taking their hand awkwardly in my own shaking it. "Keith Kogane..."  
Hunk smiled grabbing my other hand as Pidge let go, shaking it.  
"I'm Hunk! Nice to meet you Keith! And you migh want to watch your language Pidge. If you-know-who hears you he'll get upset" He smiles and I swear for a moment his face will actually break off into two. Though I gave him a small smile as well. No matter if it's forced or not. I can see Pidge shrug in the edge of my vision.  
Lance seems to be pouting, as if he were a mere child who just got scolded.   
"Talking about you-know-who we have to go. He'll be upset if we're late. And honestly? We don't need space dad and his space wife yelling at us."  
Lance has stopped pouting and even snickered at that. Hunk rolls his eyes but had a smile smile.  
"Alrighty. Seeya around Keith!" Hunk yelled out to me as they walk off. I waved lightly to be polite and checked the time.  
I realized it was 4:15 and I should probably get moving finding my way to the entrance. So I searched the hallways trying to find my way out.

<°~°>

As I made my way out I soon spot the floofy white of Shiro's bangs. Once he spots me he grins and waves me over. As I make my way over, I realize there are more people than Shiro and Allura who I know. I don't expect to see who I do though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am so sorry! This had been a bitch and erased it like 15 billion trillion times so! I do apologize. This is the 6 time I have re written this so yeah! But I believe I have figured out the problem and a way around it! I apologize and I will try to post another chapter later to day as well as an apology. It may be tomorrow because I have just got this new book to read. It's called Girl In Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow so yeah! Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

"Keith are you okay?" Shiro asks me, seeing me so shocked. But I couldn't help it. Lance seems to be as shocked as me.  
"Mullet's coming along?! Seriously this is that person?!" He shouts which makes me glare. Of course he called me Mullet again. Why wouldn't he? He's a dick.  
"You two know each other?" Allura asks, it's obvious that confusion laces her voice.  
"Oh yeah, he bumped into me in the hall." Lance says cockily. I just want to hit him all over again. "I thought we established that you bumped into me as well!" I yell.  
Shiro looks a little started by the fact I talked in a voice higher than a whisper. It soon disappears as soon as Lance and me start to argue even more.  
"Psssh you totally bumped into me! No question about it!"  
"I may have, but you did as well or, again, you would have moved away!" I am still just above a whisper, but honestly that was yelling for me. I don't really talk much so I never really use my voice. Unless I really have to.  
"I was to shocked! That mullet, man seriously!"  
He's still making fun of that? Honestly! It's just a hair style! Like Jesus!  
I ball my hands in a fist getting ready to punch him. I think Shiro could tell because he steps between us. "Alright that's enough Lance! He's our new-" Shiro takes a glance at me before continuing, "-friend! He'll be hanging out with us more often so behave yourself! You are 21 years old! I didn't think I had to remind you how to be polite!"  
Lance sticks out his bottom lip in a pout, just as he had before. He reminds me of a kid, an over grown kid that I really want to punch. I never felt the urge to punch a kid before today. Though in reality he is 21, so it's okay. He crosses his arms soon after and turns away huffing. Shiro just sighs and smiles at me.  
It kinda fells weird. To be called someone's friend. When I had parents I was home schooled. And when I didn't I never got along with the other kids. They always laughed and shoved at me. The only friend I ever really had was my grandma and my mother. If they even count as friends.  
I try to smile back lightly, though I bet it looks strained. The air isnt awkward, but seems tense. Probably due to me and Lance.  
Other than the five I already know I saw two other people.  
One was male and hand orange hair and a mustache. Which was impressive considering were were in college. He had a simple white t-shirt and light blue pants with black shoes. He has the same marks under his eyes as Allura, which make me wonder if the draw them on with make up or if they are birth marks. Though his are blue, so I think he draws them on. I wonder why.  
The other was female. She has dark brown hair and her eyes seem to look like yellow orbs. She stays close to Hunk. She has a pretty pink flowy dress on that goes to her knees, and white flowery flats. She also has these thick silver hoops in her ears.  
Shiro is speaking to Lance and pats his back before coming over to me. "Keith this is Coran," he points to the male with the orange hair "and Shay." he than points to the girl in the flowy dress. "Guys , Keith."  
I wave and Shay waves back to me. Coran takes my hand and shakes it grinning. "Nice to meet'cya Keith!"  
"Alright can be go to the café now? I've been wanting some peanutbutter cookies all day, you don't understand!" Pidge asks.  
"Pidge, this is an unhealthy addiction you have." Shiro grins at her jokingly.  
"I shouldn't be supplying it." Allura exclaims giggling. Lance laughs a little. "They're a little gremlin! They'll get their hands on it anyway!"  
Hunk and Shay are smiling gently watcing everyone and everyone else starts laughing but Pidge. "Hell yeah I will. They make the best Peanutbutter cookies! I'll steal their recipe while I'm at it!"  
"Language Pidge." Shiro scolds.  
They roll their eyes. "Whatever Space Dad! Can we just get going? I want my cookies!"  
Everyone nods in agreement wanting to get moving.  
We all head out, going into town. I walk besides Shiro until we stop infront of a small blue buiding that say "The Boggs' Café and Bakery" in big fancy lettering. I guess we've made it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hoped you enjoyed,and sorry I skipped yesterday as well. Learning to balance school and this XD I'll make the two chapters up this weekend!


	4. Chapter 4

When we get in the shop, it has a homey feel. The walls were painted a white with blue drops painted all over the walls. It reminds me of rain. There are white tables and booths with blue chairs and the booths were outlined blue. The place looks nice. There was a girl who stood at the counter.  
(This is me just so people have a heads up. If you don't like people putting themselves in the story I apologize! I just need to see my ship grow haha!) She has short dark purple hair. Her eyes are such a dark brown they look black. She wears a long sleeve blue shirt and had a white apron. She wears light make-up. Mascara, eyeliner, and a light pink lipstick.  
Once she looks up she grins. "Guys! How's it going? Here for more peanutbutter cookies Pidge?"  
"Yeah! Can I have the recipe now?"  
She laughs, "If I gave you the recipe you'd never buy my cookies again!"  
"Not true!"  
She just smiles, "Maybe next time!"  
Pidge pouted at that but didn't say anything.  
"So the usual guys?" Everyone nods and she glances everyone over before spotting me. "Oh and who's this?"  
"This is Keith! He'll be hanging out with us more often! He's new to this town." Allura speaks for me as I wave to the girl.  
"I'm Madison, Keith! It's nice to meet you! So, what would you like?" She smiles again writing some stuff done as she was doing so.  
She reminds me of my grandmother. Always smiling and doing something. Well so far. Her smile looks so similar too.  
I glance up at the menu until my eyes stop at mini oreo cheesecakes and caffé mocha. "A uh... coffé mocha and some mini oreo cheesecakes..." I mumble out a bit louder than usual so she could hear me.  
"Caffé mocha and mini oreo cheesecakes coming up along with everything else! I'll bring it out soon guys!" She grins again shoving the order in her apron pocket and going to get our order and make it.  
Shiro smiles before leading us to a corner booth. Pidge sits on the outside and next to her sits Shay, than Hunk, than Lance, unfortunately me next to him, Shiro,Allura, and finally Coran.  
After 10 minutes or so of me being quiet and everyone else talking Madison came over with two trays. She set down one tray on one side of the table, and the other on the other side.  
She made Pidge scoot over and sat down. "So what's been going on?" she asks taking a cup off the tray and bring it towards her. It looks like a pepsi or a coke or something of the sorts. She also grabs a peanutbutter cookie and takes a bite.  
"Hey!" Pidge cried and reaches out for the cookie. Madison swiftly moves it away laughing.  
"Come on Pidge! You ordered SIX! I can have ONE!"  
"Um no! I order six because I wanted six! Not because I wanted you to steal one so I only have five!" Pidge still reached out for the cookie.  
Madison groans passing the cookie to Pidge.  
Pidge huffs and starts eating it anyway.  
Shiro just smiled. "Nothing much for me. Just studies."  
"Is Space Dad work hard?"  
Shiro rolls his eyes at that smiling. "Why does everyone call me Space Dad?"  
"Because you are! You act like a Dad and training to be an Astronaut! Space Dad!" She replies doing jazz hands at the end.  
Everyone else but me and Shiro laugh. "What about you rich girl?"  
Allura glares playfully at that. "Come on! Don't call me that! But good!"  
Her smile never left as she waves her off. " How about you Coran?"  
Coran grins and starts off on a long conversation as Madison listens closely. Once he stops she looks at me. "So Keith how are you? I may not know you but it always good to tell people how your doing!"  
I smile lightly at her. She's so much like my grandma. "Uh good. I'm looking for a job but I am staying somewhere so thats good I guess." I mumble out fidgeting slightly.  
She gasps grinning. "How would you like to work here?! I was thinking about hiring soon and I could start with you!"  
I blink. "Seriously?"  
"Yeah! If you dont want to stand at he cash register or anything you can do dishes and help me brew coffee!" she smiles wider.  
I shift again before shrugging. "Sure..."  
She smiles wider if even possible. "Fantastic! Well than you can start tomorrow! Come in whenever you can! Give me a copy of your college schedule and I'll work around it!"  
I nod slightly before smiling slightly. Lance patted my back. "I'm surprised anyone would hire you with that mullet but nice!"  
Madison glares at Lance. "Would you knock it off Lance? Jeez if you meet anybody new that doesn't have a set of boobs you act like a complete dick. Mature a bit would you?"  
I try not to laugh as Lance looks hurt and puts a hand over his heart gasping. Shiro laughs along with everyone else.  
He pouts, slightly glaring at her playfully. She just continues to smile, "Anyway how's the family Lance? How's Benji?"  
He smiles hearing that. "Where doing good! Benji's getting over that cold now and is actually in school."  
"Good!"  
She goes through everyone, sippingon her drink and listening intently. At the end she got up. "Well I better get back, even though today is slow. Seeya all later! And we're still going to the beach this weekend yes?"  
Pidge nods chugging down a monster and shoving peanutbutter cookies in her mouth. "Make sure to bring peanutbutter cookies."  
Madison just laughs and nods before heading back to her spot at the counter.  
"Which reminds us, would you like to go to the beach Coran, Shay and Keith?" Shiro says taking a sip of the milkshake he and Allura share.  
"Shay can't. She's hanging out with her mom this weekend when she doesn't have classes." Hunk says for her eating his sweets.  
"And neither can I, I'm afraid! I have studying to do!" Coran replies, twisting his mustache.  
They all looked at me. I shrink into myself as I look at them. I glance at Lance he was staring right at me. He looks so curious and I bit my lip slightly. "I uh... Sure.. I don't see why not..."  
Everyone smiles and eats their sweets and talks to the person besides them. Hell even Lance smiles slightly. So I guess I have some new... friends... That's so weird to say... I wonder what it will be like from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit sorry guys! I've been so busy! Anyway I was think about making another one sometime. Beauty and the Beast style. Lance being Beauty, Keith being Beast. How many people would read it? Anyway hope yu enjoyed and see you next time.


	5. Chapter 5

Before I knew it, it was the day to go to the beach. Durning the week they said we'd met up at three and I agreed, having morning classes. And it was currently 2:36 and I was trying to get my cat to let me go.  
"Red would you stop? You can't go with me! Well you could, this beach doesn't have a policy against cats, but you would want to! Besides I don't know if any of my... friends... are allergic to cats." She currently stationed herself between the doorway and me, ready to run out once I opened the door and follow me.  
I groan, pulling out my phone and calling Shiro. Who I recently got the number of during this week. I wait til he picks up. "Keith? Where are you? Are you even coming?"  
"Yeah just... is anybody allergic to cats?"  
"Not that I know of... Why?"  
"Don't worry about it, it's all I needed to know. Be there soon." I hung up. Not wanting to explain how I spoiled the shit outta my cat. I put her collar on, picking her up and walking out to my motorcycle. It was my grandpa's, but he gave it to me before he died. I set her in this thing that kept her safe. It was the only vehicle I had so I had to get the attachment for her. It was actually a dog attachment but worked just as well.  
She purrs, happy to be coming along. I just glare slightly before riding off slower than I usually would because of Red.  
When I pull up into the beaches parking lot and get out, helping Red out who follows me obediently. I could always have Red follow me without a leash. She never wants to leave my side, so I don't worry about her.  
When I spot them I walk up to them. All their eyes went instantly to Red, either confused or well happy?  
"Is that a cat following you?" Pidge asks, pushing up their glasses.  
I nod looking back at Red. She just sat behind me, licking her paw when I stopped infront of the group.  
"How did you even do that?" Lance asks stepping forwards. Red looks at him suspiciously, hiding behind me to glare up at him.   
"I didn't do anything. She just follows me. And don't advance towards her, she doesn't like people."  
Lance did as told, not stepping forwards. But that didn't stop him from looking at Red.   
"Can we just do what we were going to do? Please?" Shiro nods, "Allura wanted to get ice cream first. Are you lactose intolerant Keith?"  
I shake my head. (fyi every time I type nod I mean they nod yes and when I type shake I mean they shake their head no) "Good, lets get some ice cream than."  
We go to an ice cream stand just outside the beach everyone ordering what they want. I ordered a small vanilla before we all sat down, Red jumping up to sit between me and Lance.   
"Keith, why did you get a seperate bowl?" Madison questions interested, digging into her also plain soft served vanilla ice cream.   
I scoop some of my ice cream in a bowl before placing it infront of Red. "Red likes ice cream. She prefers vanilla." I reply, before scooping up some ice cream for myself.  
Shiro laughs a little along with everyone else as Red digs in. Happy with the offering I previously gave her.  
After that we got onto the beach. Lance and Hunk wripped off their clothes like freaks and ran off into the water splashing eachother. Pidge and Madison sat on a towel besides me, and Allura and Shiro sat together under a sun umbrella a few feet away.  
I lay back so Red could jump up on my chest and curl up. "So Keith, how old is Red?" Madison asks. "She's two. She's a munchkin cat so she looks like a kitten but really isn't." She nods continuing to look through her bag before pulling a bag of cookies out.  
"Why are you wearing longs sleeves and pants? It's so hot out." Pidge said snatching what I could only guess is a peanut butter cookie from Madison.  
I just shrug, it doesn't seem to satisfy Pidge's curiosity but they don't push.  
Madison looks through her bag again. "Fuck!"  
"Language!" Shiro scolds her to which she says, "English!" I chuckle a bit.   
She ended up forgetting sun screen but not caring enough, and just talking to Pidge about whatever.  
I look out to the ocean to see Lance and Hunk swimming farther out. I would have liked to swim but for some reasons I couldn't. I mean I could, but I would look dumb wearing clothes while swimming, so I decided against it.  
Madison soon joins the idiot (Lance) and his best friend in the water, swimming around and splashing Lance laughing. Pidge themselves refused to even look at the water, let alone go in it. No matter how much the trio begged. Allura and Shiro hopping in after they gave up on Pidge and begged them to join. I was the next victim.   
"If you forgot I have a cat. I'm not entering the water." That was a lie. Red loves water, strangely. She was defiantly an odd cat.  
They gave up hearing my reasoning, and decided to pay marco polo and splash eachother.  
Pidge and I end up talking. "What was your first thought of Lance?" They ask.  
"Well I will admit I thought he was good looking. Well until he talked. He than became number one dick of the universe."  
They burst out laughing, giving me a high five. "Well thats something we could both agree on!"  
We talk about some other things like how I got Red, favorite foods, favorite colors, hobbies, what we were studying to be, and so on.  
By the time we had finished bonding, everyone made it out of the water and dried off. It was 4:30 and they looked tired.   
We start to pack up and make our way to our vehicles. We made it to mine first, and I set Red into her spot, putting hee little race car helmet on.  
Lance laughs. "That's adorable! Do you always spoil her so much?" I glare but ignore the comment.  
"I'll uh... See you all tomorrow?"  
Shiro nods smiling, taking Allura who waves. Pidge salutes, punching my shoulder gently as they pass heading to where they need to. Hunk pats my back and says something like "defiantly!"  
"Yup! You have work tomorrow don't forget!" Madison grins followin after Pidge and Hunk.  
Lance smiles at me, "For sure. Hopefully without that mullet though!"  
I scowl which makes him laugh and ruffle up my hair. "I'm joking... Kinda... Anyway! I'll seeya later Keef!" I glare at the nickname but can't help the small smile at he walks away and I get on my motorcycle.  
So this is what it's like to have friends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg sorry I've been having sooo many problems its not even funny anymore! I promise to try to update a lot more often! Hope you enjoyed this lovely chapter I tried hard on for all of you guys!


	6. Author's Note

Hey guys sorry! I was at Brylin Hospital this whole time! For suicidal thoughts and self harm. I apologize for not updating! I'll work on a chapter tonight!


	7. Chapter 6

I groan pushing Red away. "Would you stop it you little brat? I'm trying to sleep and you aren't helping..." I roll away from her and look at my alarm clock. It reads 7:04 am.  
I groan again. 'Did I seriously expect to get any sleep like ever? I went to bed at like what 6? Why do you hate me god?' I decide not to dwell on the thought as I shove myself up from my bed.  
Red perks up and jumps off the bed pawing at my bedroom door. "Chill I'm getting there!"

I glance down at my arms and legs seeing the scars and cuts that etched across them. I try not to think much of it as I let Red out. She goes off to eat as I make my way to the bathroom.  
I take off my shirt and boxers as I hop into the shower.  
The hot water starts to turn my skin red within seconds. I hiss as the burning water hits my cuts. I ignore the slight sting as I wash myself. I get out throwing on some underware and dark black skinny jeans.

-Self harm warning-

I look throughout my cabinets before finding what I needed. I pull out a razor starring at it for a couple of minutes before putting it against my wrist.  
I push it into my skin and drag it across. I didn't feel the relief like I usually do. I still felt anxious. I could still feel the depression weighing down on me. The thoughts still there.  
So I put it against my skin and push down harder and drag it across.  
I felt it this time. The relief. I wasn't anxious about stupid shit that didn't make sense. The thoughts faded for an instant. Depression lighted up.  
The relief soon faded bring all of it back. So I did it again, and again, and again, and again. I kept doing it until blood covered my arm and the sink. I did it til a wave of dizziness prodded at the back of my mind. I did it til I felt numb, number than usual. I did it til nothing mattered.

-self harm warning over-

I stop once that happened. I put my razor back and washed my arm off. It stung but I ignore the burn and wrap it up. I clean up my bathroom and head out.  
I throw on a long blue shirt and grab all my junk I need and head out, petting Red reassuringly. I get on my motorcycle and ride off to my new job.

-TimeSkip-

After Madison taught me what I needed I sat at the cashier. I stare boredly at the door. Waiting for someone to enter.  
The fresh cuts on my arms burned but I try to ignore them. The older ones itch but I refuse to itch them.  
I look at my hand and realize I have a thick scab on the back of it. I don't know where it came from, but I have a sudden urge to pick at it. So I do.  
I pick at it until I can slowly peel it off. It starts to bleed probably like it did before but I choose to ignore it. It's not like I'm making anything so its fine. If I do have to make something I'll wash it and throw some gloves on. I find myself looking for more scabs to pick.  
When I hear the bell ring, and soon give up on my search to look up at my newest group of friends. I smile slightly. "Hey guys, whats up?" I actually somewhat talk now that I've warmed up to them.  
"Nothin much, just some extra time to spare. How's your first day of work?" Shiro asks.  
"Pretty good. Nothing too hard." I speak back pulling out a note book thing to take their orders.  
"What happened to your hand?" I hear Lance speak up. When he says that, everyone draws their attention to it waiting for an answer.  
"Oh it was just a scab. Not really sure how I got it but I picked at it. Nothing too big."  
Everyone nods not looking into it. Everyone gives me what they want and I quickly hand it off to Madison who thanks me.  
I grab their orders when its all set up and bring it out to them.  
"So guys question. Is anyone free tonight?" I ask looking around.  
Everyone soon gives me a no sorry answer but Lance. "I'm free why?"  
"Well I wanted to hang out with someone. Watch movies and shows and whatnot. Even though you're a dick, you can join me and Red tonight if you'd like."  
He glares at me but smiles afterwards. "Sure why not? Though I don't know where you live..."  
"Meet me here at 6 and I'll ride you home with me."  
Lance nods and everyone starts talking and whatnot. I hear something about us "finally getting along" or something like that. I just wanted someone to come over. I didn't pick Lance.  
I just shrug it off. They end up leaving later telling me bye. By the time its 6 Madison has already closed shop and I am waiting outside for Lance.  
Once it turns 6:02 I saw Lance turn around the corner and start running towards me, practically sprinting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I know this chapter was probably trash but I did it so Lance and Keith could finally hang out. Anyway yeah I'll try to update tomorrow or maybe tonight again!


	8. Chapter 7

I set my helmet on my bike's seat as Lance runs up to me. He is panting and sweating and fear is shone in his eyes.  
I put my hand on his shoulder and try to look him in the eye. "Lance's what's wrong? Are you okay?" My voice is sturn, unlike usual. I spoke louder than usual and clearer.  
"I-I-I ran into a gang! Th-They were trying to murder someone and-and now-" I cut him off doing something I never thought I would do to him. I pull the dick into a hug.  
I knew what a gang was like. Hell I used tl be in one. Practically forced. Just because I was forced the police pulled it off my record.  
"Shh." I try to make him relax but it doesn't help. "They're still chasing me!"  
After he said that ten grown men rounded the corner heading for us. I shove Lance behind me and stood infront of him protectively.   
I may not like Lance that much but he didn't derserve what could possibly happen to him. That and I consider him my friend. If they want to hurt him they have to pass through me. And I have experience, I highly doubt they can beat me up. Whether there is 1 or 20.  
One man smirks as they reach us. Lance was gripping onto my shirt tightly. I felt his hands shake slightly. That's when the adrenaline kicked in. I feeling the sudden urge to protect him from anything. It was much stronger than before. I feel like I need to shield him from the world.  
My eyes narrow and my fists ball up. I try to make myself look bigger but I know it wont stop them from trying to kick my ass and probably kill Lance.  
"If you just hand the kid over, we wont hurt you." One spoke. I scoff.  
"Yeah sure. I know how a gang works dipshit. The possibility of him telling me how you just murdered someone is high. If I hand him over you'll just kill us both." I speek coldly, trying to hide Lance's face so they can't memorize his face and come after him. Though they can see my face.   
He grins. "Smart little shit are you?" He pulls out a knife. "Come on don't make this hard just give in." He points to us and two men advance.   
I look behind me and mumble to Lance, "Go crouch down behind my motorcycle, and don't show your face. I'll deal with them."  
"B-But Keith!" I growl, "Just do it!" I actually yell. Lance looks shocked and does what I say, peaking around the corner to see what happens. As long as they don't see him or know his name.   
One man tries to go after Lance but I lift my foot up and kick him in the face as I duck a punch from the other man. I jump back a bit so they can't attack. "I'm your target. Focus on me!" I yell at them getting ready to attack again.  
They grin and advance at me. I kick one in the stomach causing him to stumble back. I crouch down and swing my foot at the others legs causing the other to fall on his ass. I walk inbetween them and kick their heads making them pass out.  
As another advances I decide to drop kick them and pull out my gun. I aim it at the leader of the group holding the knife.  
"I'll gun down every single one of you bastards. Don't fucking test me!"  
The leader laughs. "I doubt you know how to use that! You won't use that on us! You'll have an entire gang on you!"   
I just laugh and aim down at the guy I drop kicked and shoot him in the shoulder. He yells out and rolls over holding it. I aim it back up at the leader. He looks scared shitless.  
"Test me again I dare you. The next bullet will be for you. Do you want it in the heart or brain?" I ask.  
He growls glaring. "Alright Keith I hope you like an entire gang on you for one stupid person who walks in on a murder..." He motions people forward to grab some people and drag them away.  
Once they round the corner I relax putting my gun away. "H-Holy Christ Keith! Y-you just shot a person!"  
All I could hear is the judgment and fear in his voice. Was he scared of me?   
"What the hell did you want me to do?! He would have done the same Lance! If I didn't pull out my gun the fucking group would have beat the shit outta me! Do you know what would happen next? THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU! News flash, they don't care! They don't give a fuck! You have to act like them if you wanna survive when you cross them! Just be happy I fucking helped you at all! They know who I am now! You said my name and they saw my face! They're after me now! Just be happy they don't know who you are!" I yell out getting angrier by the second.  
Lance looks down kickin something. He looks sad. I instantly regret yellin at him. "I-I'm sorry... Thank you for helpin me Keith..."  
I sigh. "It's fine. I'm sorry for yelling. Lets just go binge watch some classic movies yeah?" I ask smiling.  
He smiles back nodding. As I grab my helmet to hop on my bike I realize I dont have a second helmet and Lance didn't bring one.   
"Fuck." I say. "What?"  
"I dont have a extra helmet..."   
Lance fidgets looking uncomfortable with that fact.  
I groan passing my helmet over to Lance. "Just take mine. I don't need it." He takes a hold of it looking at me. "A-Are you sure? I mean you've done a lot for me already..."  
I sigh. "Yeah besides you'll feel a bit more safe with it on." I hop on a pat the part behind me.  
Lance grins putting the helmet on. The way he smiles makes my heart speed up. What the fuck is wrong with me? First I wanted to protect him and now my heart feels like its gonna break free from my chest and sprint off? Maybe I'm sick... I mean I haven't eaten anything today...  
He gets on the back and keeps a distance from me. "What are you doing? Get closer and hold my waist. You'll fly off if you don't, I go fast."  
He nods and shuffles closer enclosing my waist with his long skinny arms. My heart races faster and my face heats up.  
Maybe I am sick. I must have a fever. I hope it doesn't pass onto Lance. As I think this I speed off heading to my home. I hear Lance's sweet laughter and I feel him tip to the side to catch the wind. I smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. This was trash. Anyway um yeah them hanging out will be the next chapter! And Keith is starting to fall for Lance! Awww! Anyway yeah!


	9. Chapter 8

I speed up around the corner, leaning more than usual. I felt Lance grip onto me tighter but still laughs, by now I am full out grinning. I've never had so much fun just riding my bike. Once I make it around the corner I speed up even more, I've took the back alleys. I only did it because Lance seems to be having a fun time so I said fuck it lets do it...... and I guess I wanted Lance to be happy... ANYWAY!  
Once I make it to my street I slow down and pull up into my drive way and I lean until my foot is flat on the ground. I feel Lance's arms leave my waist and I feel a slight disappointment but push it aside. I get off the bike and turn to Lance; Who is currently taking off my helmet. "That was so cool! Can I ride with you again?" He was holding my helmet in his hands against his abdomen and jumping slightly in place. "Sure why not? I don't see a problem. That and I have to drive you home anyway."  
"Yes!" He shouts fist bumping the air; holding my helmet in one arm against himself. I smile slightly to myself, he seems to have pushed the whole gang thing away, which is great. "Alright lets get inside, we have movies to binge watch." I pull out my keys and make my way to my apartment, Lance in tow looking excited. "Ya'know you aren't too bad Keith." Lance says. "Same to you. I thought you were a major dick, but can't always trust first impressions." I mumble shoving the keys in before opening the door.   
I gave Lance a quick tour. "So do you wanna watch it in my room or in the living room?" I ask making popcorn and Totino's Pizza Rolls. "Uh... which TV is bigger?" Lance asks, standing besides me. "The one in my room." I reply taking out the pizza rolls as the popcorn finishes popping. "Than to your room we go!" Lance somewhat yells, playfully. I just smile, shake my head, and roll my eyes lightly.  
I grab the pizza rolls as Lance grabs the popcorn and we head to my room. Once we get comfortable in my bed (Lance is on one side and Keith is on the other with separate blankets unfortunately...) we start to pick movies. First we watch the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Than we watch the newest It (which Keith thought was hilarious unlike Lance ho covered his eyes most the time). We watched some Disney moves like Aladdin and The Little Mermaid. That's where we stopped because of Lance.  
"Keith let's do something fun!" Lance suggests. I pause in looking for the next movie to watch to look at him, "Hm? Like what?" He grins which makes me scared for a moment. "I want to dance!" He kinda shouts. My eyes go wide and I look at him. "Um no. I don't dance, I can't even dance. I'd rather not." I mumble looking away once I saw him start up the puppy eyes, my one weakness. "But Keeeeeeeeeefffff! I want to dance! Please! I won't laugh at you! Come on!" I groan trying not to look at him. I fail and glance at him causing regret to flare up in me instantly. I sigh, "Fine but only a couple songs!"  
Lance grins grabbing his phone and putting it on a speaker. I groan loudly at the song he plays; Shape of You by Ed Sheeran (http://vevo.ly/iWs9u0). Not that it was a bad song, it's just not what I would choose for a dancing song. "What? Do you not like this song?" Lance asks, oblivious. "It's not that I don't like it, it's just not my first choice if I were to dance." I reply. "Oh... well since I am forcing you to dance you pick the song." Lance says passing his phone over. I take it hesitantly, "Are you sure? I mean you wanted to dance so.." Lance nods smiling. Go ahead I can dance to anything!" I smile and search up Uh Huh by Somewhere else (http://vevo.ly/MKQwVv).  
Once it comes on I start dancing to the beat, moving my hips the way I know. Lance grins while dancing, "You can sooo dance!" I blush, "N-No I can't..." "LIAR! The way those hips move prove you can dance! You know exactly what you're doing!" Lance grins saying that. I feel my face heat up and I look away. 'He's looking at my hips... omg why does that make me feel slightly weird?' I try to push those thoughts away as I continue to dance.  
Once the song was over Lance was practically begging me to pick the next song. I chose Bad Girls by M.I.A. (http://vevo.ly/dXkRJj). "I know we aren't girls but this song has a nice beat." I tell him. He nods and goes with the beat. Once the song was over I sat on my bed, Lance in suit. "What type of music is that?" He asks taking his phone back. "Oh um it's Electronic." I answer. He nods, yawning. "Are you tired Lance?" He nods. "Alright you can sleep in my bed, I'll go sleep on the couch." I say getting up.  
"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude..." Lance replies trailing off. "Yeah, your my guest and I invited you over. You get the comfier place to sleep." I reply. Soon Red walks in and looks at Lance. I smile picking her up. "Where have you been? Lance is our guest so be polite." I set her down next to Lance and she sniffs him for a few seconds before crawling onto his lap and laying down. Lance looks surprised yet excited. "She likes to be pet on the head, and like to lay on your chest just so you know.   
Lance nods laying down, bringing Red with him. Red doesn't seem to mind which makes me happy for some reason. "Night Lance, sweet dreams. Night to you too Red." I say before closing the door. I hear a soft "Night Keith" before the door shuts completely. I head to the bathroom and lift up my sleeves to see how my cuts are. None of them look infected so I decide so slide my sleeve back down gently and look at my legs which seem to be okay too. I decide not to cut while Lance is here and head for the couch.   
As I fall asleep I find Lance wiggle in to my mind. His soft brown hair, darker colored skin, those blue eyes, his nice smile, his kinder than before attitude, the way he clung to me when that crummy gang showed up, everything I have learned about him. For a moment I briefly ask myself why I was thinking about him, before actually falling asleep. Where I dream about my horrible father, and found myself waking up 3 hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp yeah this is a bit longer than usual but whatever! Hope you enjoyed! And sorry for a really late update, I've been busy!


	10. Chapter 9

Me and Lance's hang out happened a week ago. He has seemed to forget about the whole gang thing entirely. Which is good for him, though I am pretty sure they are on the look out for me which sucks. Nothing I can't handle though... probably. Anyway Shiro, Allura, Hunk, Pidge, Lance, and myself are hanging out at the cafe. And since Madison only let us in it's closed. So she's sitting with us too, and everyone has what they usually get.  
"Sooo guys you know how tomorrow is Thanksgiving and all?" Madi asks chugging down a monster she decided to get this time and yet another peanut butter cookie she stole from Pidge, who looks pretty pissed off about it. "Yes?" Shiro asks taking Allura's straw and putting it in his mouth along with his own to chug the milkshake they got faster. Allura glares at him and smacks the hand he is using to hold both the straws, making him pout and give hers back.  
"Wellllll I wanted to know if anyone wanted to come to my house this year! I'm making turkey, ham, sausage, stuffing, corn, basically everything you need! And yes peanut butter cookies will be there Pidge." She speaks excitedly hoping in her seat. "Count me in than. My family isn't doing it because Matt's not coming home, and because we're too lazy." Pidge says stealing Madi's monster, probably cause she stole her cookies, and Madison glares at her trying to get it back.  
"Why not? I'm not going home either." Shiro speaks passing the rest of the milkshake to Allura who happily takes the rest. "I can! My dad won't even be home and my sister will probably be at a party!" Allura replies chugging the milkshake how Shiro did earlier causing me to smile lightly. How can they still have milkshakes in the end of November? Just like my mom, though she was nuts and had ice cream in the middle of winter, outside, in shorts and a tank top...  
"It's my parents 25 anniversary and they're going out, so I can." Hunk says through a mouthful of lemon flavored macaroons (that's how they're spelled right? Maybe macarons? Oh well whatever). Which made me smile. "My family is too big so we don't really have Thanksgiving so yeah I can!" Lance says, and looks to me -as does everyone- for an answer.  
"Oh um yeah... my family is too far out to go visit them..." I lie. I didn't want to say that my dad would probably kill me once I step foot on his property and my mom would let him. That's just messed up. Sooo lying is the better option.   
"Great! Coran already said he could! So that's eight people! I'll make some pie too! Any suggestions?" Madi asks excitedly? "Peanut butter pie!"Pidge shouts. Madison groans, "That peanut butter is gonna go straight to your head and make you even nuttier than you are!" Everyone laughs, even me slightly. Pidge huffs and punches her arm gently. "Shut up! If you didn't want suggestions you shouldn't have even asked!" She laughs, "Kidding, Kidding! I'll make you peanut butter pie and cookies. Anyone else?"  
"Oh, oh chocolate creme!" Lance says. Madi nods. "Um how about cherry pie?" I ask. Madison grins, "One of my favorites! Of course Keith! I'll make an apple crumble too!"  
Everyone nods agreeing. "And hey, it's nice to see you two getting along!" Madison says looking at us. I look towards Lance as he looks at me and we smile slightly. "Yeah well all it took was a bike ride and movie night.." I say. "And dancing!" Lance reminds me as I groan. "Can we not? Like seriously?" Lance laughs loudly as I glare at him.  
Soon we all part ways, but I call out to Lance. "Wait Lance! Do you want to spend the night? I don't know where Madison's house is, and I can ride us there again." Lance seems to think about it before nodding. "Sure, I know exactly where Madison's house is. I could get there blindfolded, we hang out a lot. Hunk, Pidge, her, and I." I smile nodding as we head to my bike.  
"Oh I've been meaning to ask, does Madison like Pidge?" I ask as I get on my bike. "Hm I honestly don't know. I thought that too but she always denies it. But she is good at deceiving. Well if they get together we'll know right?" I laugh slightly nodding as we road off to my house.

~Time Skip to the next day~

"Come on Lance! Would you hurry up in MY god damn bathroom? I need to grab my brush!" I yell banging on the door. "You mean for your repulsive mullet?" I growl, "It can't be as repulsive as your face! At least mine can be fixed with 40 bucks! Not even the best surgeon in the world could fix that face!" He gasps as the door swings open. His face is covered in this white stuff that's probably a facial mask. "You take that back! I am fucking beautiful! You don't even know how to handle this beauty!"   
"Pfff yeah okay! And seriously? You kept me out because you had your stupid facial mask on? You could have just let me in! I just need to grab some things! I seriously hate you right now, no joke." I say as I push the door open. He squeals and shoves some things in a bag. "You can't see how I keep myself so beautiful! Than my secret will be out"   
I roll my eyes, "Yeah I'm not really interested. If I wanted to waste two hours of my life I'd just watch the news." I grab my brush, and toothbrush and paste before heading out. "IT IS NOT A WASTE! I LOOK GREAT!" Lance yells after me shutting the door again. I just roll my eyes and start to get ready.  
Once Lance was finally done we got on my motorcycle and he got my helmet as we head off to Madison's house. Lance directed me the entire way, and when we got there it was this white house. I pull up and park my motorcycle as me and Lance get off. I grab my helmet from Lance and set it on my seat. Me and Lance then get to the door and knock. Madison opens the door grinning, "It'll be done in 30! Til than make yourself at home!" We nod as we come in and take off our shoes and head to the living room, me following Lance who knows where he is going.   
When we sit down I snatch up the remote and turn on The Amazing World of Gumball. I may be an adult but I still like my kid shows. Maybe it's because I grew up without them.. I hear Lance groan besides me. "Are you five?" I glare at him, "Shut up! These are good shows dick." I go back to watching the TV as everyone else shows up. Shiro and Allura where helping Madison, Pidge was stealing peanut butter cookies already, Coran was getting himself a glass of water, and Hunk came to sit besides us. He starts to chit chat with Lance and glances at the TV every once in a while.   
Soon Madison calls everyone in and we all start to get our food and eat. Everyone packed there plates and I just got a small scoop of mashed potatoes, two slices of turkey, a spoon full of turkey, and two spoon fulls of corn with some gravy on all of it but the corn. Madison glances at my plate, "That's all your going to eat Keith which catches everyone's attention. Thanks Madison. "Oh um yeah... it's hard to explain but I usually can't eat more than this or I feel sick. Trust me doctor told me..." Truth is I am recovering from anorexia. Though the doctor never said anything, I never even went to the doctors. When I suddenly started to black out is when I decided I needed food. Though I still feel fat, thanks family. Let's just say I am one fucked up person. She nods understandingly and so does everyone, though Lance looks slightly concerned.  
Once everyone one was finished we all eat our desserts. We all hung out until it turns 7:46. Everyone decided it was time to head home and everyone got some left overs since Madison made so much. I start to head home with Lance (we both decided to it was best since I have no idea where he lived and it was hard getting to Madison's as it is) when I hear his voice over than wind. "So why can't you eat too much?" I feel my stomach drop, "Oh uh I just have a weak stomach... it's hard to keep food in..."   
"What?!" Lance yells, not hearing me. "I'll tell you when we get to my house!" I yell back. "Okay!"  
Once we pull into my driveway and get into my house Lance asks his question again. "I just have a weak stomach, it's hard to hold food in. It's nothing to worry about." He nods, looking a bit suspicious. We say goodnight to each other and head to bed. Lance insisted he would have the couch tonight and I let him, not really wanting to argue. I cut yesterday and they burn, and the couch hurts. So as I fall asleep I end up having a nightmare and wake up screaming.   
Lance runs in looking around. "What? What wrong Keith?" Once he sees no danger he looks at me to see me curled up in a ball. He sits besides me and rubs my back. I can feel his hand rub soothing patterns into my back, and I feel myself uncurl only to latch onto him. "Shhh Keith it's okay, your okay here." I feel the tears I cried earlier drying up as new ones glide over those. "L-Lance?" I ask shakily, holding onto him tighter. "Yeah?"  
"C-Can you stay in h-here w-with me t-tonight...? P-Please?" I ask. I fell Lance leave my grip and I wanna cry harder until I feel my bed dip and arms wrap around me to pull me into a chest. "Sure Keith. I'll be right here, you don't have to worry. I'll protect you this time." I have a feeling he was referencing to when I saved him from that gang but I just shrug it of and hug him. "Thank you Lance."  
"No problem, that's what friends are for right?" That stung. I don't know why, but it did. What's wrong with me. I shake the thoughts away and focus on sleeping. And for once in my life, I actually fell asleep and stayed asleep. It's been so long since I got more than 6 hours of sleep. I wonder if Lance had something to do with it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yeah so hope this one was good.


	11. Chapter 10

I sit in the middle of class bored as fuck. The teacher was droning on and on about something completely different from school. I glance at the clock and groan, realizing I still have thirty minutes here. I just want to go home and cuddle Red, maybe watch some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and fall asleep. Is that really so much to ask for?  
I felt my phone vibrate and I pull it out to look at it.

Lance: Hey, wanna hang out after our classes are over?

I sigh, apparently it is too much to ask for.

Keith: Sure, where?

Lance: Madison's shop?

Keith: You mean her cafe and bakery?

Lance: Yes! U know what I meant!

I laugh slightly to myself 

Keith: Whatever, seeya at 4

Lance: Aw do u remember when my classes end?? Cute ;)

I groan feeling my face heat up.

Keith: You don't shut up about it, how can I forget??

Lance: ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡

I roll my eyes and turn my phone off, after looking at the little clock on it to see it say 2:54. Six more minutes, thank you Jesus. The teacher put the homework papers down onto the desk, and everyone got up to grab them. They're due Wednesday, today is Tuesday that's plenty of time. I open my bag and take out my purple binder and shove it in on the left side pocket before putting it right back in besides the red binder. I zip my bag back up and throw it over my shoulder heading to the class entrance and leaving.   
I head down to where the police officers train, knowing that's the last thing they do all day. I walk outside and into this observing place. I spot out Lance and pull out my phone, recording watch him. He lifts the gun he just assembled and shot at the target, hitting it in the head. He did it quicker than everyone else. I smile, he's got skills but he kinda needs to man up when facing actually danger. Overall I think he'll be a great police officer. I smile more when I see his trainer praise him, and him giving him a goofy smile. I laugh slightly to myself as I see him do a little happy dance once his trainer turned away. I shake my head looking down at my recording.  
I sit here recording Lance until the trainer spots me and calls everyone off for a break heading towards me. I stop my recording as the teacher makes it towards me. "What are you doing son? Why are you here?"  
"I'm one of the students and um one of my friends are here. I was um recording him....." I mumble out slightly. He almost didn't catch it. "Who's your friend?" "Lance McClain... we are hanging out when he's done..."  
He nods, "Well alright. What's your name?" "Keith Kogane..." "Alright Keith Kogane, how would you like to try to be an officer for 15 minutes?" I look at him, shocked. "What?"  
"I mean Lance McClain is your friend right? Don't you want to see what he does everyday?"  
"I mean I guess..."  
"Than let's go, son."   
I get up following him nervously. As me make it out to the field I see Lance look at me weirdly and I just shrug. "Alright Rookies! This is Keith Kogane, a friend of Lance McClain's. We are going to let him train to see what Lance does everyday. So go sit over there!" He points to the place I had been sitting as the all walk in relief, knowing there training was over, Lance giving me a weird look.   
"First warm ups! 20 push ups, 40 crunches, and 2 laps." I sigh slightly to myself, dropping down to do them. What have I gotten myself into? I quickly did my pushes, flipping on my back to do my crunches, before shooting up to run my laps. I mean it's not that hard, my dad made me do more than this all the time. So I could be strong enough to join him. I came back panting slightly and he looked at me astonished. "I know I don't look like it, but I work out everyday." I speak quietly.  
As I continued I had to climb over this 10 ft wall, and jumped down off it, crawl under short things, and much more. In the end I has to assemble a gun, shoot and unassailable it. I quickly did it, aimed, and hot the head, where the heart was, and where the lung was, quickly taking t apart and setting it down.   
The train gave me the weirdest look. "How...?" I look down slightly rubbing my neck. "My dad taught me when I was younger..." He nods, still looking suspicious. "You should join some kind of army." I shake my head, "Too much anxiety..." I was also part of a gang before sooo. It's not on my open record since I was forced, but it's on my hidden record the government and stuff saw so I can't even if I wanted to.  
Lance came out laughing with his entire class who looked quite shocked and hugged me. "You did GREAT Keith! How did you do that?"   
"I work out every morning, and my dad trained me in some other stuff..." I talk louder. "That's so cool! Hey since you worked so hard, let's hurry off to Madison's 'cafe and bakery' alright?" I smile and grin, "Yeah alright." I grab my bag and head off with Lance.

Unknown P.O.V

"He was way to good, I think we should re-consider killing him, and ask him to join."

"Hm... let's give it a little more time... watch him closely Tommy."

"As you wish." 

I hung up watching Keith through the window. Him and McClain laughing. "You'll join us Kogane, don't worry..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this took so long! I had tons to do for Christmas! So much decoration, presents, wrapping, baking... Anyway! I have a really good cookie recipe! I'll give it out a couple days before Christmas, so people can use it! Anyway I hope you enjoyed and I'll try to update tomorrow! Bye!


	12. Chapter 11

I couldn’t help the smile that grew on my face. I really couldn’t, it grew without my permission. He just made me happy I’m not sure why. How did he get me to start to like him? How did he wiggle himself into my heart?  
Maybe it is his laugh. It is contagious and adorable. Maybe it is his charming smile, always so big showing of his pearly whites. Maybe it is the way his eyes shine whenever he is passinonate about something.  
Maybe it is the small freckles that decorated his face. Or his fluffy brown hair, and tan skin.  
Maybe it is all his quirks. Like when he tilts his head slightly when he is confused. Or how his nose scrunches up when he smells or tastes something bad!  
Maybe it is how he is so kind. So determined and adorable he can be.  
Who knows how it happened, all I know is that I ended up falling for him stupidly. Now I can’t even think about him without blushing. Hell its hard to think about anything else when he’s right there, prancing around in the back of my mind. Refusing to leave...  
I always knew I liked guys. I mean in high school a girl accidentally fell on me and her boobs got shoved in my face. All I remember thinking was Is this what guys like? Seriously?   
And when guys scored a goal I couldn’t stop thinking about the sweat dripping of their bodies, or how their muscles flexed will playing.  
It was pretty obvious at that point.  
I remember exactly when I realized that I started to like Lance. It was a week ago when we were having a movie marathon. 

~Flash back~

“That’s not funny dick! She’s in pain!” I yelled at Lance, throwing some popcorn at his face.   
He just continues to laugh and wheeze. “I-I sorry Keef it-it’s just -pfffft- look at her face!” Which triggered another laughing fit.  
I glanced at the tv. She did look a bit funny from the animation. I still glared and threw more popcorn at him.  
“I know you see it Keith!” He continues to laugh. I couldn’t help it, I laughed with him, throwing more popcorn at him.  
All he did was pick them up and eat them.  
At the end we were chuckling and our faces were pretty close.   
I looked into his eyes and I felt my heart pick up, and my breath hitch. I had a sudden urge to lean in and just- I stopped myself and turned away (towards the movies) blushing.  
Lance looked at me weirdly but ignored it and continued to watch the move as well.

~Back to normal time~

Lance once again fell down on his ass, but he just laughed trying to get up. I just smile again slightly and go over to him, helping him up.   
“How are you so good at this Keef?” He asks as I drag him up. “Because I’ve ice skated for two years and you’ve done it for two minutes?”  
He opens his mouth as if to protest, but stops and closes it. “Touché.” I smile and hold his hands before starting to skate backwards.   
He squeals holding my hands tight, standing it a weird position. “Keith!!”  
“Calm down, I’m trying to help. Now bend your knees slightly, don’t lock them.”  
Lance did as I said bending them slightly, getting out of his weird position. “Now lean slightly on one side push off with the other foot.”   
Lance leans wobbling a bit, moving his other foot slightly back. “Good enough for now... So switch and do the same thing on the other side.”  
Lance did what I said, slightly glaring at me. Probably from the good enough statement.  
As I continued to help Lance slightly red from the fact of holding his hands, I look around. I saw Madison help Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and Allura our, Coran helping her.  
I look back at Lance just in time to catch him as he fell forward. He fell right into my chest quickly wrapping his arms around me in fear.   
I wrap my arms around him and try to catch my balance so I don’t fall over. But it was already too late. I had fallen over on my back and Lance had fallen right on top of me, straddling me. Both his hands were on each side of my head. It felt like one of those cheesy romance scenes in the movies.  
I felt my face heat up even more as Lance sat up, looking at me. He removed one of his hands from besides my hands and reached up to the back of his neck, to rub it sheepishly. He had a slightly red tone to his face, and I wonder if it was from the cold or the position we were in.  
“Sorry Keith! I tried really hard not to fall on you but I guess gravity had other plans!” He laughs out. I ended up laughing with him, before getting out from under him and helping him up.  
“It’s okay, I should have been paying attention.”   
I continue to teach Lance to ice skate I tile he learns the basics and somewhat skates on his own. I than go help Madison who is teaching Pidge. The only one left is Allura.  
“Do you want me to teach you Allura?”  
She smiles and says something like sure as I begin to help her.  
“So Keith, what do you think of Lance?”  
I felt my face heat up as I advert my eyes, “He’s... nice.”  
She smirks as a knowing glint is shown in her eye. “He’s just nice?”  
“I-I mean... he’s a good.. friend..”  
Lance comes by grinning, “Look Keith I’m doing it!” I smile face a little redder than it should be. “Make it around 5 times without falling and you can start to go faster.”   
Lance grins skating off before falling. I smile shaking my head and looking back at Allura.  
Who was raising an eyebrow, smirking. “Just a good friend?” She asks.  
“I-I-I don’t know... h-he is g-great. B-But I don’t think he even likes men so...”  
She smiles, “He’s bisexual. Sooo you could have another chance you never know. And Keith.”  
I felt like I had some hope now. “Yeah?”   
“I know how to ice skate, Coran taught me when we were kids.” She whispers skating off.  
I blush but go off skating.  
Lance calls me over and we skate for a while until we all leave, going our separate ways.  
I felt hope throb in my chest and a blush on my face. Maybe Lance will end up liking me... just maybe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey sorry I had a lot of shit to do. But hopefully now I’lol have more time to write this since some people are very eager to here more about Keith! Our precious little emo anxious boy. Anyway hope you enjoyed!


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys we have 50 kudos! FIFTY!!! It may not seem like a lot, but it is to me!! Anyway yeah! Hope you enjoy!! I guess this is kinda like a special? A little? Maybe? Anyway read on!

I sip on my drink at Lance chases my cat around. I was going to stop him, but it’s funny watching him try.  
That and Red is jacking him up every time he actually grabs her. “Ow! Your cat is viscous!” I roll my eyes, setting my tea down. “She wouldn’t be if you’d quit chasing her.”   
“But she looks so fluffy!! I want to cuddle her!!” I sigh, rolling my eyes yet again. I decide to turn the tv on to drowned out the noises of Lance.  
As I drown out Lance, new thoughts popped up in my head. ‘What am I going to do? I have to go back home next weekend but dad will be expecting me... I can’t just not go, it’s disrespectful... she’d understand right?? But I’d feel bad if I just didn’t... but if I step foot in the town and get noticed it’s over for me.... What am I going to do?’  
Next thing I know Lance is waving his hand in front of my face, snapping me back into reality.   
“Hello!! Earth to Keef! You in there buddy?”  
“Huh? Oh yeah sorry Lance. What do you need?” I ask looking up at him. “Are you okay? You’ve been off this whole week... did something happen?”  
“Oh uh no. Anyway did you want to tell me something, or do you just like waving a hand in my face?”  
He lookes skeptical before continuing, “I am going home now... my mom needs some help with the little ones. Are you sure your okay??”  
“Yeah no worries! Go home before your mom worries.”   
He nods heading off with a goodbye that I return. I watch him leave before sighing. I like Lance, much more than a friend, but I need to relieve some stress...  
I head to the bathroom and search threw my cabnits. I groan, “Where is it?” I move aside cleaning supplies to see it in all its glory. My razor blade.  
I grab it and roll my sleeves up. The scars that decorate my arms there, like they always are. Some are thick, others thin. Some old, some new, some fresh from just yesterday. Some deep purple, others light pink, some even a lighter skin tone. All there for a reason. For me to have some sick, twisted sense of control over life. Over my pain. Over emotions.

~Self harm warning~

I breath in moving the blade towards my right wrist (Keith is left handed). I push into my soft skin, violently pulling it across. Blood quickly rushes out, slipping down my wrist and spilling onto the floor until I move my wrist above the sink.  
I’ll clean it up later.  
I do it again. I dig the blade into my skin and pull it across harshly. More blood spilling into the sink.   
I breath in deep, the sense of relief leaving as fast as it came. Forcing me to do it again if I want to become numb.  
So I do.   
I cut my wrist until I’ve made 5 deep cuts, moving onto my left.

~Self harm somewhat over, the Nextel paragraph has self harm but it’s important to read it you don’t have to though~ 

I put my razor blade to my wrist again and press down. As I start to slowly drag it across I hear a gasp. I slip, cutting deeper than I meant to, causing me to flinch and drop my razor blade into the sink. I grab my arm where the cut is and look up at the door way.  
Lance stood there, looking shocked. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly open, face pale. I could feel my throat closing up and a lump form. It was almost like I couldn’t breathe.   
“L-L-Lance...” I force myself to say. As if that one stuttered word snapped Lance out of his paralyzed state, he drops his stuff and runs over.   
“K-Keith! W-Why would you do this?” He asks panicked. “I-I-I can e-explain-“  
“I’m calling Coran! H-He’ll know what to d-do!” Lance says, shakily taking out his phone.   
“N-No Lance! P-Please don’t!” I manage to get out. I start to feel dizzy and sick. I grab the side of my bloodied sink leaning on it, as I started to pant.  
“Keith look at you!” Lance shouts typing onto his phone before it started to ringtone and Coran picked up.  
“Hello Lance! What do you need? I’m hanging out with everyone!”  
“C-Coran! I-I need your help! Keith is in trouble!”  
“Slow down much boy! What’s wrong with Keith?”   
“What about Keith?” (Hunk in the back)  
“Put it in speaker Coran!” (Allura)  
“Okay Lance tell me whats up.”  
“I-I-I dont even k-know! I was leaving a-and than I came b-back to grab something. I-I could see K-Keith so I-I went to l-look for him a-a-and- I-I i-it’s complicated! Just please h-hurry to (Keith’s address)! H-He’s losing a lot of b-blood!”  
“Blood? Lance you should have called an ambulance! I’m just a doctor in training!”  
“H-He didn’t e-even want me c-calling you! J-Just hurry!”  
“What why would he not-“   
Lance hung up before Coran could finish. He than came over to me and sat down next to me. (Keith had moved to sit on the floor)  
“Y-You’ll be okay! I promise!”  
I smile weakly at him. “You shouldn’t be here Lance...”  
“I know that! But it’s a good thing I am! What if I wasnt here’s and hadn’t called Coran! Y-Y-You’d be d-d-d-de...” He couldnt spit the word out as he started to cry.   
“Dead? Maybe...” I say. That seemed to make Lance cry even more. I frown Andy remove my hand from the cut. Blood flowed from it faster but I ignored it not really caring.  
I reached my bloodied hand up and tried to wipe the tears from his face, which spread blood acrossed his face. I grabbed one of his free hands with my left one.  
“I’ll be fine, I do this all the time. Don't worry about me.”   
“How can I not?!” He slightly yelled. It took my by surprise, “Lance...” Tears seemed to stream down his face faster. I felt a pang in my heart. I caused those tears. I made him cry. I cause him pain. I feel tears start to form.  
“You hurt yourself! How did I not notice?! It should have been obvious! Always wearing long sleeves! Not going into the water at the beach! I’m so sorry I didn’t notice how much pain you we’re in Keith! You’re my friend! I-I should have paid attention!”  
I frown and grab his arm with my better on, pulling him into me and wrapping my better one around him. “Shh. What would you have even done? Do you think anything you could say would have stopped me? I’ve had this habit for years. I‘ve done this for More than 8 years. I’m not gonna stop over night. I might never to be honest... And that’s not your fault. If anything you actually make my day. You make me happy when I fell trapped with in my pain. So be happy that you make me happy, when I haven’t felt happy since I was 7. Not sad that’s I do terrible things to myself. That’s my problem, not yours.”  
“What are you talking about Keith! Your my friend! You’re problems are my problems! I want to help you! I am happy that I make you happy! But i can be sad because you hurt yourself too! I can’t feel multiple things at once!”  
I smile and start to cry. I can’t feel myself growing weaker, and the tight grip I held on Lance slowly started to frown weaker.  
I close my eyes feeling the sobs wreak through Lances body. I felt the wetness of his tears soak into my shirt. It feels hard to breath and I feel tired, but I refuse to sleep. I don’t want to scare Lance... I don’t want to I leave him.  
As I think that I hear my front door swing open and multiple foot steps march towards my bathroom.   
I guess everyone came... Lance shot up and looked towards the door as I force my eyes open to look at well.  
There stood everyone, same expression Lance had on earlier. Shock. I know it was because they all see my arms. How bloody and bruised they are. And it wasn’t the fact that they were, it was the fact that I had done it...


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be a bit much for some readers.

Coran didn’t know what to do. I can tell by looking at his face (which was a bit blurry by now.) I wanted to die right there. I didn’t want anyone to help me.  
They’d all ask questions when I get better. Things like, “Why?” and “Doesn’t that hurt?” and “But you have a great life!” all those stupid fucking questions and statements that make you want to flop over and die.   
I didn’t want them too, I didn’t even want them to know.   
“Holy Christ alright everyone give him some space! I’m going to need some needles, thread and fire. Alcohol or anything to clean the wounds. Than some bandages and medical tape! Some ointment so it doesn’t get infected!”   
Everyone looks at Madison like she’s nuts. “What? My friends and I were the ‘emo’ kids in school! I stitched up a lot of people, including myself because none of us wanted to go to the hospital! Now don’t just stare go get the stuff I need! Unless you want Keith to bleed out!”   
Everyone instantly scrambles to go get it. “OH AND DARK TOWELS AND WET WASH CLOTHS!!!” She screams turning back to me.   
Lance is still besides me, refusing to leave. “Lance why don’t you go help collect things?”   
Lance sullenly gets up to do so, looking back at me with the saddest eyes before leaving.  
I felt my heart break, but I covered it up as Madi sat down next to me. “Keith... You know there are people to talk to right? You may not know me well but you can talk to me. Not only am I your boss, I’m your friend! I’d sit down and listen to you.”  
I look at her before looking away, trying not to see her sad face.  
“I had this problem too ya’know? It started on my legs. Than I got caught and I started doing in on my breasts because no one dared to look there. Than I turned 18 and moved out and started doing it on my stomach, on my shoulders and even my arms. Honestly? I still do it on my legs. It’s not healthy. Though we need to stop. It doesn’t hurt us Keith, but it hurts them. It hurts the people who are currently running all around your house to find those things. The people who care. I’m not sure who cared for you while you grew up, maybe no one actually did, but we care for you now. You are not alone anymore. You have Shiro and Allura. Coran, and Hunk, Shay, and myself. Even antisocial Pidgeon will help. Lance would definitely be here to help you in a heart beat. That look he gave you? He definitely would drop everything to come help you out. I know that look too well, anyway. You are not alone anymore. You are important. People do care, and if they didn’t before they do now. We want to help Keith, so don’t shut us out after this let us in.”  
I look at her and open my mouth to reply before she cuts me off, “Also text me when you self harm, I’d like to know.”  
I nod as she holds pressure against my arm. Hunk ran in dumping more then 5 towels on the floor, while Shiro brought two wet hand towels.  
“Hunk you didn’t have to bring all my towels, two would have been enough...” I mumble out smiling slightly.  
“I-I’m sorry K-Keith! I just- I didn’t know!”   
“Hunk it’s okay... I was just pulling on your leg. I’m not serious...”  
“O-Oh...”  
I smile at him as Madison grabs one of the many towels from the large pile now on the floor.   
She pushes it on the ground where all the blood was to hopefully soak it all up.   
She than grabs one of the wet hand towels Shiro has and presses it against my wound once she let go.  
Pidge and Allura soon come in holding the alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, and sewing kit along with some lighters.  
They hand it all over to Madison as Lance comes in. He has definitely been crying. His eyes are red and puffy, and tear streaks are still on his face.   
He was carrying water and a belt. He came down and sat besides me passing me the water than the belt, explaining the water is to hydrate me and the belt is for me to bite on.  
I nod and smile at him the best I can, giving him my thanks.  
I fold the belt with one hand and bite down on it nodding at Madison, as a go ahead.  
She nods taking the hand towel off my arm and grabs the alcohol besides her to pour it on my arm. It stung but I grit my teeth against the belt and shut my eyes lightly.  
Madison says a brief sorry before pouring the peroxide on as a precautionary measure.  
She than set the hand towel back on my wound and asks me to hold pressure there as I do as she says.  
She grabs a needle and threads red string threw it, and starts to heat of the needle after wards.  
Once she was sure it was heated and sterilized she removes the hand towel and pushes the skin together.  
“Ready Keith?”  
I nod briefly, “Anyone who gets uncomfortable with these things please leave... I won’t take offense I just don’t want vomit on my bathroom floor. I have enough blood...” I say when I spit the leather belt out of my mouth. Everyone nods staying put.  
Madison shrugs slightly and points the needle at my skin before quickly pushing it threw both parts coming out on the other side.   
I suck a breath in and blow it out steadily. I blink rapidly while looking up at the ceiling.   
She continues to do it at a fast rate obviously trying to quickly get it over with.  
I try to keep my breathing steady and ignore the fact that I was getting stitches.   
When she finished she ties off the string and cuts it off. “Done! You did well Keith. Let me just bandage your arms and then you should go lay down. Lance can help you since you lost a lot of blood.” I nod at her words as she starts to bandage both of my arms up.  
When she finishes she says she was going to go cook me some food as Lance helps me up and to my bed.  
The others watch us go with sad stares. I ignore the stares and tell them to make themselves comfortable.   
When we get to my room Lance pulls back my covers and lays me down as Red jumps up on the bed and makes herself comfy.  
Lance then climbs in as well pulling the covers over both of us. “L-Lance what are you doing-“   
He cut me off, “I’m staying right here. I’m not going to leave you alone right now...”  
I smile slightly as he snuggles his face into my chest. I wrap my arms around him the best I can while staring at the ceiling.   
‘I can’t believe this all happened... Are they going to ask questions when I am slightly better? Are they going to wait for me to come around? What’s going to happen after today?’ I wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy! Have a lovely day! And please if you are having troubles message me on Snapchat. I am cassius_cactus the name will be Madison Boggs! Talk to me I’ll understand!


	15. A/U

I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated, and honestly? I’m thinking about re-doing this. Mostly because I feel it’s a bit rushed? So i was thinking I’d slow it down a bit. With longer chapters and whatnot, Lance and Keith arguing a bit more even as the form feelings. So yeah.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was probably trash sorry. I'll try to post daily and maybe, just mabye more than one chapter everyday. This is my first fanfic so please go easy on me! If you find any mistakes let me know I'll fix them! Thanks for reading!


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